![]() “I had to get the IT guy to come and sort out my computer because I’d “accidentally” downloaded some porn and icons and things just kept popping up everywhere.” Workplace Confession 15. “I run the tap in the toilet at work so that people think I’m washing my hands. I woke up at our HR’s house, on the sofa, in her pajamas.” ![]() “I don’t know exactly what happened, but apparently at some point during the Christmas party (at our office) I was found in a toilet cubicle, knickers round my ankles, with clogged up toilet water (that had overflowed) all over me. Then I heard the toilet next to me flush! I ran away so I still have no idea who heard me!” It was silent in there so I proceeded to moan and bitch for 10 minutes about how I was going to stomp out in a blaze of glory. “I was having a really bad day at work and felt like I was going to cry, so I took a loo break to call my boyfriend. WHY?! I’ve never left a room so quickly just listening to the splashing sounds of liquid spilling out onto the bathroom floor.” Far too shy to admit my soul-crushing mistake, I attempted to re-flush. “In my first week at my new job I blocked the toilet. I took off my tights and just stood casually weeing, praying that no one would notice.” I had to choose between 2 flights of stairs (back to our office) or straight out to the car and stupidly, I chose the latter. Eventually it was all too much so I ran out. Workplace Confession 11.“I was in a meeting and desperately needed the toilet, but felt too awkward to just get up and leave so I waited and waited. Never Assume You Are Alone In The Toilet. I’m pretty sure I was joking about cheese at the time!” Then all of a sudden, the HR Manager calls me into his office to discuss my ‘inappropriate behaviour.’ I basically got b****cked for ‘flirting’ with my boss who is married. “I was having a joke around with my boss via email because we’ve always had a good bit of banter. I ended up introducing him as ‘mumble-Jack-mumble’. I don’t know why, but his name completely slipped my mind. Workplace Confession 9. “I was at a party once with my husband and the big boss came over. It was just dead silent. I’ve never gone so red – my whole body was burning.” Anyway when I got to that part, no one said ‘who’s there’ so I had to MAKE someone say it and then, when I left a brief silence for everyone to laugh, no one laughed. I won’t even repeat it because it makes me cringe so much. “I wrote what I thought was a hilarious joke for the end of a presentation to my whole company – it was a knock-knock joke. Still didn’t go down well! You never think that type of thing would happen to you, till it does.” In fairness, they had the same name as someone else in the office that was on Maternity leave. “Probably when I asked someone when their baby was due. I honestly have no idea what came over me!” ![]() I completely panicked and blurted out ‘how dare you assume that as a woman I would want to hold your child, I do not like children’ and stomped off. So my boss came in with her new child and asked if I minded holding her for 5 while she nipped to the bathroom. “So, I don’t really like babies and I literally cannot stand it when people just hand me their baby, without asking. I sent this email: “I hope that nasty little dog finally dies so we don’t have to hear about it anymore!” intended for my colleague, to my boss, about her dog. She cc’d in the wrong Tom – something which people soon realised.” It said ‘look what Tom just sent me, so cringe.’ There are two Toms in the office, I am one of them. Anyway, I could see her cracking up from the other side of the room which was bad enough, but then I received a forwarded email from her, with my email attached, sent to the whole office. “I sent a really embarrassing, romantic poem to this girl at work via email. Obviously, I’d sent it to Richard instead of my boss. So embarrassing and he did not see the funny side.” So I was emailing my boss about him (mostly nice things) and called him Dick 3 or 4 times within, before pressing send. “We nicknamed one of my clients ‘Dick’ – his name was Richard but “Dick+His Surname” created a pretty funny, popular insult (I bet you can see where this is going). “Sent the following to the ENTIRE office: ‘Really sorry I couldn’t make it last night, I’ll make it up to you this weekend though )’ My ‘secret’ office romance finished not long after that. I think I actually used the words ‘a disgusting rabble of idiots.’ Didn’t realise I pressed ‘Reply to all.’ Pretty awkward.” “I sent out an angry tirade about my incompetent team members to my boss.
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